When Others Bring Out the Devil in You
by Leslie Fischman
Avoid temptation at all costs. This requires being able to differentiate need from necessity, and want from required to feel whole. What is it that causes you to behave in a way that you’re not proud of? Identify those triggers, and set boundaries for yourself and for those around you. Much about life requires communication, communication to express our needs and wants, professionally, socially, and romantically. It’s easy to get these things confused with one another during the process of communicating with one another. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, and professional associations and communications should all be dealt with differently to ensure no miscommunication of needs and wants. Work is not for friendship, and your lovers are not for venting and negativity. This leaves much of your communication needs for balance to your friends, who are the ones you should confide in, not work or romantic relationships. -So how does the devil come into play? The Devil is your ego, the one that causes you to lash out at others, fall in love with the wrong people, drink or use drugs, or behave inappropriately. If you are someone who is emotional, overt behavior is caused by expressing yourself beyond the bounds of what is considered normal. Knowing that, know your limits with people, do not connect closely with those you do not wish to have extended relationships with, do not connect with those where the type of relationship gets skewed or crosses over to another kind of relationship making it therefore an inappropriate relationship. You choose who you bond with, it’s not required you bond with anyone you are not comfortable bonding with. Trust is required for any bond, trust that boundaries will be maintained, and trust that the relationship existing is not considered to be anything more than what it is. So don’t let the Devil convince you otherwise that there’s sonething more than what is, fall in love with the wrong people, know your limits. It’s easier when in a relationship bonded to avoid these situations, more likely to occur when single unattached to be courted by others and people to seek bonds with you. Everything in life needs balance. It’s your responsibility to maintain balance of communication in all relationships, not allow one to affect the other. Trust your instincts, ignore negative voices (Devil), and most of all be yourself and everything should fall into place both personally and professionally. The best way to deal with any conflict is to not respond at all, not waste your time explaining yourself to people who assume the worst to cause you to self-sabatoge to prove them right about you, be yourself don’t let negative voices cause you to question yourself, become paranoid, or cause you to behave in a way that does not reflect you in the positive, but causes you to act out of character appear mentally ill. Just ignore them.
Nothing comes easy in life, including finding a Career and sticking to the path that you’re on. If it takes 3 jobs to make a paycheck, it takes 3 jobs. If it means no going out, staying home, and writing for a living, so be it. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to make ends meet. You may not be happy where you are but all your hard work will pay off eventually. Don’t listen to the negative voices saying “well they’re paying for it now.” For what? The only consequence of choosing to stay in School and Intern is that you get started later in life. That doesn’t mean you’re not working just as hard as the next person trying to earn a living and make ends meet. There’s no one to prove wrong under those circumstances, only person you need to please is yourself on your way up in life, no one else can tell you how to get there or what you need to do in order to achieve, that’s something we must each figure out on our own.
Make it happen. It doesn’t matter which way you go in life, so long as you know where you’re going, you’ll never get lost. Always plan ahead, make lists, and be prepared. Some of the most successful moments in our lives occur when we know what we want in life and are prepared for seeing things thru for ourselves. Don’t get caught up in self-doubt and self-sabatoge which often occurs right before we are able to make things happen for ourselves in life. A defeative attitude will get you nowhere in life. A positive attitude will get you places in life. Know the diffetence, and most of all don’t allow yourself to keep you from moving forward successful. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of you, what matters most is what you think of yourself.
In your 20s you have the World at your fingertips. Fearless, driven, and motivated. At times you feel invincible, like anything could happen, and that you’re capable of making anything happen for you in life -if you just set your mind to it. That is true, running on all cylinders, school gym party is the easiest schedule in life it seems. But by the time you turn 30 reality begins to set in, life feels short, and you realize there’s more too it than how many people surround you or by how many people accept you. Instead your success is measured by how much you get done past your 20s which seems like an award winning accomplishment to survive, but the hard work doesn’t start until you turn 30. At 20 you assemble, at 30 you create, at 20 you’re given directions, at 30 you write them, at 20 you train, at 30 you coach, at 20 you try, at 30 you learn. There’s nothing wrong with growing up by 30, so long as you value yourself, know your self-worth, set limits, and boundaries you should have no trouble continuing to grow at a steady pace, only difference, is that at 30 there’s no room for error, whereas your 20s don’t matter only sets you up for your 30s where you either shine straight to the top, or startover from the bottom up, except this time you’re getting paid. Lesson: Don’t burn yourself out too early in life with worry, regret, or take any hardships too seriously, as these are just learning lessons apart of life not the end all be all. Be Kind to yourself and enjoy life no matter what age you are, always do your best.
Getting your feet wet again. Everyone procrastinates. Usually when we procrastinate it is because we are being Avoidant. Avoiding life, people, places, situations, because of fear, fear of not being good enough, or fear that even if we try our best we will never be good enough. Don’t allow fears to dictate your direction in life, and end up kicking yourself later for failing. Best you can do is face your fears, one step at a time. Discipline takes practice, and overcoming your fears takes incredible focus on the positives. The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Never be discouraged by the wrongs projected onto you by others who misjudge you, underestimate your capacity, and level of intelligence disregard you all together as equal and or deserving of title to a position you deserve in the workforce. There will always be more opportunities for you to shine in life. Never let down your guard to anyone in a trusted position. Never assume that people who care can help you. In the workforce and in relationships, once entered into, only you can help yourself. Never rely on a partner or significant other to be there for you when you are down. When you are down, vulnerable is when they judge you, when relationships take a turn for the worst. It’s not your responsibility to explain your every quirk or shortcomings in life. You have no obligation to explain yourself to anyone. Those who pry do so only to size you up, if they’re sizing you up from the get go, even the more reason to limit bonding time with them. Professional relationships breed awkward Romantic relationships don’t allow another’s neediness to cause you to accommodate their needs stay professional at all times never let down your guard and never enter into a professional relationship when weak insecure or not sure of yourself it affects your decision making and when your decision making is off you have a greater likelihood of putting yourself at risk of harm of embarrassment. Either encouraged to engage in behavior against you’re general morals or habits to their convenience or not be viewed as valuable but replaceable if not confident with yourself. Why decision making skills must be up to par measured first by your ability to manage your life outside of work first before allowing your personal life to interfere with work relationships, spill over and result in dependency, co-dependency, or other like unhealthy relationships at work where boundaries are not respected and you subject yourself to rejection, get projected on, and treated like a pushover because your personal life issues were not dealt with prior to entering into that relationship. Food for thought. Good luck!