When Others Bring Out the Devil in You
by Leslie Fischman
Avoid temptation at all costs. This requires being able to differentiate need from necessity, and want from required to feel whole. What is it that causes you to behave in a way that you’re not proud of? Identify those triggers, and set boundaries for yourself and for those around you. Much about life requires communication, communication to express our needs and wants, professionally, socially, and romantically. It’s easy to get these things confused with one another during the process of communicating with one another. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, and professional associations and communications should all be dealt with differently to ensure no miscommunication of needs and wants. Work is not for friendship, and your lovers are not for venting and negativity. This leaves much of your communication needs for balance to your friends, who are the ones you should confide in, not work or romantic relationships. -So how does the devil come into play? The Devil is your ego, the one that causes you to lash out at others, fall in love with the wrong people, drink or use drugs, or behave inappropriately. If you are someone who is emotional, overt behavior is caused by expressing yourself beyond the bounds of what is considered normal. Knowing that, know your limits with people, do not connect closely with those you do not wish to have extended relationships with, do not connect with those where the type of relationship gets skewed or crosses over to another kind of relationship making it therefore an inappropriate relationship. You choose who you bond with, it’s not required you bond with anyone you are not comfortable bonding with. Trust is required for any bond, trust that boundaries will be maintained, and trust that the relationship existing is not considered to be anything more than what it is. So don’t let the Devil convince you otherwise that there’s sonething more than what is, fall in love with the wrong people, know your limits. It’s easier when in a relationship bonded to avoid these situations, more likely to occur when single unattached to be courted by others and people to seek bonds with you. Everything in life needs balance. It’s your responsibility to maintain balance of communication in all relationships, not allow one to affect the other. Trust your instincts, ignore negative voices (Devil), and most of all be yourself and everything should fall into place both personally and professionally. The best way to deal with any conflict is to not respond at all, not waste your time explaining yourself to people who assume the worst to cause you to self-sabatoge to prove them right about you, be yourself don’t let negative voices cause you to question yourself, become paranoid, or cause you to behave in a way that does not reflect you in the positive, but causes you to act out of character appear mentally ill. Just ignore them.
When you’re on your own, and not socializing, you hear a lot of voices, sometimes negative, either about yourself or others, it can drive you insane. Any negativity, unless you’ve got the stomach for it is annoying, at least when you’re depressed and trying to stay positive about yourself and others. In order to have a positive attitude you need to achieve, and in order to stay positive you need not worry what others think, think your own thoughts not theirs. That doesn’t mean only worry about yourself, not others, in fact putting the needs of others before your own is helpful when you’re going through a difficult time, to concentrate less on yourself & your problems & be more in active productive, helping others is simply one way of being productive that translates to feeling better about yourself and others, less worried about what others think about you or in general. Always concentrate on your own thoughts, if negative from where do those voices come from and why, to what issues trigger those replies you hear in your head, if negative ask yourself why & deal with those feelings piecemeal, one at a time until you find a strategy for overcoming that feeling & the corresponding emotion or voices that follow. Always be in control of your mind, know your body, how it responds, and what you need to do self care wise to maintain stability so that negativity does not overpower you cause you to self harm. Love you first, loving yourself means staying proactive & disciplined when it comes to self care, the less you care about yourself the less others will care about you. Always rise above, in your head not others, on your path not question another’s, live your dream not another’s, think your thoughts not what others think, and most of all care always for others and yourself, the more accepting you are of others the easier it will be to challenge, overcome, & not be easily affected by any voices including ones produced on your own.
How to Overcome Mental Illness:
You can wonder all your life, what could’ve been or you can start living your life right now. For a long time Ive struggled with mental illness, Ive even attempted suicide and been hospitalized on multiple occassions, on 5150 holds for harm to self (swallowed a bottle of kolonopin and cut my wrist). People come and go from your life it may have nothing to do with you. Let them go. There is so much left for you to live for in life, its not about what you have in life its about what you make of yourself with what you do have in your life. You shouldnt need people in your life in order to achieve, feel whole, or apart of. There are plenty of ways to integrate yourself in society on a professional level, other than socializing by going out drinking & doing drugs. Why social media is a great outlet for people trying to stay sober & not isolate, besides going to meetings with other alcoholics. You become who you surround yourself with. Online that can be anyone, there are so many professionals online to be exposed to, learn from, and grow with. Your friends will always be there for you when well, have faith that when you do find yourself professionally that either they or new friends will come into your life once you put yourself out there again, sharing your life & experiences, with careful thought not impulsive in the moment problem solving in the thick of it -is when you’re most likely to be misunderstood -others stand off ish. The most well adjusted become the most successful, why because their balanced demeanor translates to their work ethic and ability to produce and get their work done necessary to achieve professionally. -Stop living in the past -or worrying about what other people think of you. People only know what you tell them & from what you tell them judgment is past. Stop hearing judgments, and instead hear yourself. Stop listening to what other people think, and instead hear yourself. Write until all you hear is yourself. Write until all you hear is positive, and read until you become again who you are not what other people think or say, and let your work speak for itself.
Everyday you are given the opportunity to choose to be happy. The day goes by so fast, why waste time wrapped up in negativity. It’s your choice when to move forward in life and let go. So long as you hold on to the past you prevent yourself from moving forward. Why bear the weight of yesterday when you can enjoy today.
The best things in life come free to us. Usually when we least expect it. Always be open to change and new experiences as this is when we learn the most about ourselves and others. You cannot predict the future, at best we can prepare ourselves for it at the present. Don’t allow negativity to keep you from living your best life. The more prepared you are in life the more able you are to enjoy life and life’s blessings.
Whenever anyone passes judgment upon you that’s merely a manifestation of their own insecurities, things they fear others would say about them. Occurring when you are misinterpreted in the negative, and assumptions made prior to or because of can be justified by the statements they make in response. Your image is therefore a product of not only what you say but also affected by what people say about you. As a writer your opinions and judgments are never considered with weight given to your present circumstances if in the positive, any prior negative judgments passed will be used to negate any current placements or acceptances of you as a Writer or person. So long as you always do your best, no matter what your circumstances are, not allow negativity to get the best of you, you will always shine and be represented not by your moments of weakness and or failure but by your strength in spite of. We all want to be judged by our accomplishments in life and seen in the positive based on our present circumstances, which can only be achieved if you adhere to a set of standards that’s sets you apart from those moments of failure from which you can be judged in a positive light as having changed, improved, progressed as an individual and learned from those moments in life, by becoming a better person and achieving in spite of any setbacks you encounter along the way.
Just because you have it all does not mean people want to be you or envy you. Just because you have what others do not have does not mean you or more blessed or have what they want and/or missing in life. Another’s unhappiness is never accurately assessed by the subjective interpretations of others, we are not all the same. Some of us are happy with less in life, and decide to have less in life because we do not wish to be targeted as someone with more. Sometimes you have to accept people the way they are whether or not you are happy with them or their progress in life. Just because they don’t have what you have in life doesn’t mean they should be treated as less than or criticized for how they live their life. To each his own.