When Others Bring Out the Devil in You
by Leslie Fischman
Avoid temptation at all costs. This requires being able to differentiate need from necessity, and want from required to feel whole. What is it that causes you to behave in a way that you’re not proud of? Identify those triggers, and set boundaries for yourself and for those around you. Much about life requires communication, communication to express our needs and wants, professionally, socially, and romantically. It’s easy to get these things confused with one another during the process of communicating with one another. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, and professional associations and communications should all be dealt with differently to ensure no miscommunication of needs and wants. Work is not for friendship, and your lovers are not for venting and negativity. This leaves much of your communication needs for balance to your friends, who are the ones you should confide in, not work or romantic relationships. -So how does the devil come into play? The Devil is your ego, the one that causes you to lash out at others, fall in love with the wrong people, drink or use drugs, or behave inappropriately. If you are someone who is emotional, overt behavior is caused by expressing yourself beyond the bounds of what is considered normal. Knowing that, know your limits with people, do not connect closely with those you do not wish to have extended relationships with, do not connect with those where the type of relationship gets skewed or crosses over to another kind of relationship making it therefore an inappropriate relationship. You choose who you bond with, it’s not required you bond with anyone you are not comfortable bonding with. Trust is required for any bond, trust that boundaries will be maintained, and trust that the relationship existing is not considered to be anything more than what it is. So don’t let the Devil convince you otherwise that there’s sonething more than what is, fall in love with the wrong people, know your limits. It’s easier when in a relationship bonded to avoid these situations, more likely to occur when single unattached to be courted by others and people to seek bonds with you. Everything in life needs balance. It’s your responsibility to maintain balance of communication in all relationships, not allow one to affect the other. Trust your instincts, ignore negative voices (Devil), and most of all be yourself and everything should fall into place both personally and professionally. The best way to deal with any conflict is to not respond at all, not waste your time explaining yourself to people who assume the worst to cause you to self-sabatoge to prove them right about you, be yourself don’t let negative voices cause you to question yourself, become paranoid, or cause you to behave in a way that does not reflect you in the positive, but causes you to act out of character appear mentally ill. Just ignore them.
Moving on is the hardest part. The more pieces we can put together the better off we’ll be moving forward. Living in fear is the worst consequence. Never let them win. Always outsmart your opponent on all bases, don’t let them keep up, always move forward five steps ahead of the game. Pray often, and exercise your rights, & seek the change you wish to see in the World. Don’t passively watch life occur on its own terms, adjust the terms where you see fit, based upon what the conditions will allow. Always be in control. Meaning always be proactive, taking preventative measures daily, keeping up with the times, and taking any necessary action or steps you see fit. What is necessary is for you to decide, based upon the patterns you recognize, the knowledge you have, and the dreams you wish see come to fruition. To plan for the future you must first see it to believe in it, then help others work together to create a mutual understanding upon which change can occur, based upon the terms you set & decide upon, from which we all grow. We are bound by similarities & differences in opinion, truth, fact, & fiction all play a role in how we see the World & to what extent our decision making gets rationalized, be a painter not an observer in life, that’s how you maintain control, feel in control, & reduce fear of the future. What you see, we see, that’s what leadership is all about. (Advice to #RudyGiuliani).
No matter how hard you try you cannot control the past, or another’s interpretation of past events. The only thing you can control is your reaction to the past and the opinions shared by others. What will be will be. Meaning focus on the present, let the past be the past, and the future for you to decide. You can only control two things, your present and your future. Focus on those two things more than reflecting on past scenarios, best to prepare now for the future setting goals that reflect your understanding of the past, processed, and how you’ve been able to let go and move forward in a more positive direction. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from living your best life, including your past.
Nothing lasts forever, and everything is temporary. It’s all about perspective. Education is key to your understanding. Where you see yourself, in relation to others, is a direct reflection of yourself education & experience in life. You are what you read and learn. Confidence comes through exposure, the more you can relate to different settings, the more capable you’ll be of blending in and feeling comfortable with yourself. Comfort is achieved by knowledge, knowledge is achieved by a combination of education & experience. Therefore if you’re lacking confidence the best way to get strong is to travel, try new things, read, and explore different settings to help adjust your own. While adjusting your settings, you learn how to better control not only how you perceive yourself in relation to others, but also how to strengthen your sense of self in relation to others. Confidence issues and insecurity occur when you compare yourself to others. Love yourself enough to know that you are perfect just the way you are. Start there and everything else should fall into place.
Life is all about routine. Whether it’s practicing healthy habits, focusing on skincare, or going to the gym weekly, you get to decide what needs to get done to feel your best. What makes you feel complete? Do you have trouble sleeping at night? What do you need to do to get to where you want to be in life? What keeps you going and motivated? These are great questions to ask yourself whenever you feel, lonely, irritable, and lost. Means you’re not where you’re supposed to be in life and falling behind. Catching up is easy when you set goals, hard when you waste time looking back in regret. Get on point, by establishing a routine that helps you function best, it’s never too late to start over or build a new you. Don’t beat yourself, follow step by step guides, read Self-help books, get a trainer or life coach, join a gym, do whatever it takes to get going again. The worst thing you can do is to stop everything and mourn the loss of who you were, love yourself now and do what you can to repair yourself, don’t look back, keep moving forward, routine is everything! What you do now, will determine where you end up in life, always focus on the present, to lift yourself up to where you need to be to get going again.
Change never comes to those who wait. We cannot change by remaining who we are. Change comes to those who day in and day out do their best to improve their lives, change behavior, rid themselves of unhealthy habits, and stay motivated to be consistent, setting goals for themselves & sticking to plans. Change requires us to recognize our failures and do our best daily to be the best version of ourselves, by bettering ourselves everyday. Change comes to those who not only care about others but also themselves. Always see the glass half full, thinking in terms of what you do have, not what you have not.
When life gets difficult it is not uncommon for you to be forced to take on Multiple Roles which require you to maximize your potential without becoming burnt out. This requires that you maintain balance, practiced by adherence to common courtesies, etiquette, and abide by rules governing the organizations to which you apply your skill set, and your ability to meet performance goals. Nothing done well is done with haste always with careful planning and arduous practice of principles that dictate rights from wrongs and what is considered normal, common, acceptable behavior. No one ever said acceptance by all is required for achievement, but acceptance from within is, that can only be achieved by a strong belief in self, knowledge of values to be maintained, and purpose driven by goals appreciated by others not just for one’s own self. Living selflessly for the benefit of others is often required of us to achieve goals in life, the helping professions requires you put the needs of others before your own, and practice self care to ensure that you are able to perform to the best of your ability, and avoid burn out. When burnout occurs it is always okay to take a break and refrain from participation, regroup or start a different project to rebuild momentum and prepare yourself for tasks of higher importance, be efficient by practicing & fine tuning your skillset.