When Others Bring Out the Devil in You
by Leslie Fischman
Avoid temptation at all costs. This requires being able to differentiate need from necessity, and want from required to feel whole. What is it that causes you to behave in a way that you’re not proud of? Identify those triggers, and set boundaries for yourself and for those around you. Much about life requires communication, communication to express our needs and wants, professionally, socially, and romantically. It’s easy to get these things confused with one another during the process of communicating with one another. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, and professional associations and communications should all be dealt with differently to ensure no miscommunication of needs and wants. Work is not for friendship, and your lovers are not for venting and negativity. This leaves much of your communication needs for balance to your friends, who are the ones you should confide in, not work or romantic relationships. -So how does the devil come into play? The Devil is your ego, the one that causes you to lash out at others, fall in love with the wrong people, drink or use drugs, or behave inappropriately. If you are someone who is emotional, overt behavior is caused by expressing yourself beyond the bounds of what is considered normal. Knowing that, know your limits with people, do not connect closely with those you do not wish to have extended relationships with, do not connect with those where the type of relationship gets skewed or crosses over to another kind of relationship making it therefore an inappropriate relationship. You choose who you bond with, it’s not required you bond with anyone you are not comfortable bonding with. Trust is required for any bond, trust that boundaries will be maintained, and trust that the relationship existing is not considered to be anything more than what it is. So don’t let the Devil convince you otherwise that there’s sonething more than what is, fall in love with the wrong people, know your limits. It’s easier when in a relationship bonded to avoid these situations, more likely to occur when single unattached to be courted by others and people to seek bonds with you. Everything in life needs balance. It’s your responsibility to maintain balance of communication in all relationships, not allow one to affect the other. Trust your instincts, ignore negative voices (Devil), and most of all be yourself and everything should fall into place both personally and professionally. The best way to deal with any conflict is to not respond at all, not waste your time explaining yourself to people who assume the worst to cause you to self-sabatoge to prove them right about you, be yourself don’t let negative voices cause you to question yourself, become paranoid, or cause you to behave in a way that does not reflect you in the positive, but causes you to act out of character appear mentally ill. Just ignore them.
We cried, we laughed, we have so much to be thankful for. In order for anything to be possible we must first have a belief in oneself, that such goals can be accomplished. Rarely on our own or left to our own devices but while given a hand by another. Always be thankful for those who never left you astray, believed in you, and made you feel special. Only together can such lofty goals as peace be accomplished. It only takes a second to lose footing, but lifetimes to achieve. Always be appreciative of those who have helped guide us in the right direction, without whom we would still be lost. It’s times like these we show gratitude, honor, & respect for those who have fallen while fighting to protect the lives we lead. Never wait for the right moment to be of service, but always do your best to contribute thoughtfully as best you can, it takes many to rise to lift the fallen, and one to shine brighter than the rest to give hope, never lose faith in oneself. You can’t start over in life, you can only pick up the pieces and make due with positions handed to you, not everything in life is a choice. The only way to undo patterns that break us is to see beyond. We see best when things are right, we freeze when somethings off, and we rest when things get done. Always trust those who protect you from harm, enjoy not just the end result, but always have an appreciation for the work that led to those moments of closure & peace. What we recall repeats, what we learn transpires, what we fear is avoided, and what we see gets dictated to us to protect us from harm. See by those you trust, listen to those who protect, and accept those who have yet to reach peace from within and realize their potential. It’s to each’s own responsibility to do what is right, follow directions, and lead no one astray. When everyone gives up on you, the only one there for you when you are lost is often a stranger, I feel lucky to have been mentored by someone of great strength, compassion, and patience, without whom I would not have made it this far, or been able to be there for others, with confidence given to me by my education gifted to me and trust given by him to lead online. What I’ve learned is when you feel right, when others are scared, best to speak up, share your mind, and help not base your self worth on things or jobs, your fitness is by your health & accomplishments not always by acceptance. So long as you know the difference between right and wrong, you should have nothing to fear, including the opinions & criticisms shared by others, should not change you but make you stronger. Always be there for those who were there for you when you were down, lost, or dreaming.
Take it easy on yourselves. You only have one life to live. At least you have your friends, family, co-workers, and gym buddies -where would we be without a little comradere in life. Getting fit is the first step toward self-love, to look good, feel good, and be on the outside as loveable as we feel on the inside. Sometimes our appearances don’t match how we feel, and that’s okay. So long as you continue to set goals for yourself, challenge yourself day in and day out to be the best version of yourself you can be, you’ll be well on your way to happiness, living a life enjoyed not loathed, enthusiastic not depressed, positive not moody, and feel loved not repressed in self-hate. Remind yourself this is your life, no one else’s, how you live is a direct reflection of yourself, how much you care, and your self-worth. Be who you want to be around, someone you love as much as your significant other. Always rising to the occassion, on time, present, and aware of others, not locked in your own world. Life is a process, trust those around you, and take it one step at a time without backtracking or hesitation. Never give up on yourself, and others, be there for those you love and well enough to enjoy lifes blessings, appreciative. Life’s best lived present.
When you’re on your own, and not socializing, you hear a lot of voices, sometimes negative, either about yourself or others, it can drive you insane. Any negativity, unless you’ve got the stomach for it is annoying, at least when you’re depressed and trying to stay positive about yourself and others. In order to have a positive attitude you need to achieve, and in order to stay positive you need not worry what others think, think your own thoughts not theirs. That doesn’t mean only worry about yourself, not others, in fact putting the needs of others before your own is helpful when you’re going through a difficult time, to concentrate less on yourself & your problems & be more in active productive, helping others is simply one way of being productive that translates to feeling better about yourself and others, less worried about what others think about you or in general. Always concentrate on your own thoughts, if negative from where do those voices come from and why, to what issues trigger those replies you hear in your head, if negative ask yourself why & deal with those feelings piecemeal, one at a time until you find a strategy for overcoming that feeling & the corresponding emotion or voices that follow. Always be in control of your mind, know your body, how it responds, and what you need to do self care wise to maintain stability so that negativity does not overpower you cause you to self harm. Love you first, loving yourself means staying proactive & disciplined when it comes to self care, the less you care about yourself the less others will care about you. Always rise above, in your head not others, on your path not question another’s, live your dream not another’s, think your thoughts not what others think, and most of all care always for others and yourself, the more accepting you are of others the easier it will be to challenge, overcome, & not be easily affected by any voices including ones produced on your own.
When you’re off on your own, it’s easy to get discouraged, and lose faith. Always keep yourself busy. We lose faith in ourselves and others usually when we are not confident, not disciplined, needy, and feeling less than or not good enough. Part of finding confidence and stability requires you to be okay on your own and fearless. Afterall it’s easier to be around someone who is stable rather than someone who is tripping. Usually unstable people are viewed as being problematic or risky, and quickly disassociated from, that’s normal, that’s business. People who are caretakers tend to be more empathic & understanding, not concerned with image and risk, more concerned with helping others, strengthening those around them. So when you’re down be understanding that not everyone is going to be willing to help you, and that’s okay, some people are not going to be there for you and that’s okay too. Don’t take anything in life too personally, just always do your best to be thankful & grateful for those that do help you get back to normal.
There are times when we are strong and there are times when we are ineffective at expressing ourselves and our emotions. Sometimes we get through to our audience and sometimes we feel misunderstood and get frustrated. Those are all normal feelings, apart of the writing process. It’s important to be clear, helpful, but not aggressive when explaining yourselves to others. The angrier you become the less likely you are to be heard, the more sound you are the more likely you are to be understood. It is rare when looking for empathy that you will find it. If you’re looking for empathy that means you’ve already lost your audience and their respect for you. In order to regain composure, one must look to their strengths & sources of support for feedback and direction, or else remain forever lost fighting with people who not only not understand you but don’t empathize with you and never will because they’ve already made up their minds about you not to care and may never care. Those who never care to understand may nevertheless be the ones to most question you for responses, that helps no one not even themselves, nor the writer or the writers audience, but just used to highlight neurosis and character weaknesses and points of defect to justify themselves as rationale. Anyone who depends on another to justify a feeling or rationale is in no position to pass judgment, spread rumor, or claim to know information as fact because not yet asserted or defended against. Usually what’s not of issue is left last for explanation and discourse. #Orlando
How to Deal with Anger & Resentment:
The best way to deal with anger & Resentment is to do something positive for yourself. Whenever you feel angry towards others -it’s really a manifestation of some unhappiness within you -that gets triggered by another to whom you take that anger out on. The best way to deal with anger or resentments we carry towards others is to better oneself and NOT to act out or respond to others in a negative way -that only makes things worse. To better any situation or standing in life always rise above -meaning do not engage with others who are hostile towards you or who you do not get along with & resent because of the way they have treated you in the past i.e. with hostility, insult, by injury, or anger towards you. Always set a good example of how to deal with conflict by being successful with or without them in your life. The only way to earn the respect of others who do not respect you is to be successful and continue achieving in life. That would be my best response -and how I’ve best responded to those I once carried resentments towards, who expressed anger towards me, & who I did not get along with when I was not doing well & didn’t finish Law School.