When Others Bring Out the Devil in You
by Leslie Fischman
Avoid temptation at all costs. This requires being able to differentiate need from necessity, and want from required to feel whole. What is it that causes you to behave in a way that you’re not proud of? Identify those triggers, and set boundaries for yourself and for those around you. Much about life requires communication, communication to express our needs and wants, professionally, socially, and romantically. It’s easy to get these things confused with one another during the process of communicating with one another. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, and professional associations and communications should all be dealt with differently to ensure no miscommunication of needs and wants. Work is not for friendship, and your lovers are not for venting and negativity. This leaves much of your communication needs for balance to your friends, who are the ones you should confide in, not work or romantic relationships. -So how does the devil come into play? The Devil is your ego, the one that causes you to lash out at others, fall in love with the wrong people, drink or use drugs, or behave inappropriately. If you are someone who is emotional, overt behavior is caused by expressing yourself beyond the bounds of what is considered normal. Knowing that, know your limits with people, do not connect closely with those you do not wish to have extended relationships with, do not connect with those where the type of relationship gets skewed or crosses over to another kind of relationship making it therefore an inappropriate relationship. You choose who you bond with, it’s not required you bond with anyone you are not comfortable bonding with. Trust is required for any bond, trust that boundaries will be maintained, and trust that the relationship existing is not considered to be anything more than what it is. So don’t let the Devil convince you otherwise that there’s sonething more than what is, fall in love with the wrong people, know your limits. It’s easier when in a relationship bonded to avoid these situations, more likely to occur when single unattached to be courted by others and people to seek bonds with you. Everything in life needs balance. It’s your responsibility to maintain balance of communication in all relationships, not allow one to affect the other. Trust your instincts, ignore negative voices (Devil), and most of all be yourself and everything should fall into place both personally and professionally. The best way to deal with any conflict is to not respond at all, not waste your time explaining yourself to people who assume the worst to cause you to self-sabatoge to prove them right about you, be yourself don’t let negative voices cause you to question yourself, become paranoid, or cause you to behave in a way that does not reflect you in the positive, but causes you to act out of character appear mentally ill. Just ignore them.
The hardest part about being alone is learning how to love yourself anyways, without the added reassurance from a significant other, or others. It’s like going through withdrawals, an addiction. We get so used to being codependent that we forget how to be on our own. That doesn’t mean you’re weak, you’re just used to feeling good only when able to make another feel good, or another making you feel good. What about feeling good on your own? This we forget sometimes, how to when in a relationship. It’s always okay to take a step back & breathe, get away from the chase, hustle & bustle of courtships & maintaining composure. Test your strength on your own, not rely upon the rejection of another to turn around and look at yourself for a change. If you’re where you need to be at personally, no one will ever make you feel forced to work on yourself. The more you take responsibility for your feelings, and take the initiative to better yourself, the better off you’ll be.
You cannot expect other people to be happy for you when you are. Be careful not to allow the unhappiness of others to affect your self esteem. Always do your best to lift yourself before helping others. You are your first priority. You cannot help others until you are able to first help yourself. Otherwise it’s more likely than not, that you will be easily affected by others, drained when trying to help them. Get strong first. Once you are strong, then you can make a positive difference.
When in a relationship, a good rule of thumb is to always be sweet. You never know what the other person is thinking -and they could be going through something you know nothing about, and have yet to talk about. The world does not revolve around you and not everything is about you. Don’t take anything too personally & always be understanding & loving. Your support is what matters to your significant other, simply being there for them is enough sometimes. You don’t need to know about their past, their personal troubles, or what they’re thinking all the time. Part of being in love is learning to accept one another as they are, without trying to change them or manipulate them.
There will always be that one. Who takes your heart away. The one who wakes you up, and makes you love yourself. If you’re lucky enough to find them, never take them for granted. They have hearts too you know. Sometimes we are lucky when lost to find those who help us find ourselves again. They come into your life for a reason. -The hardest part is loving someone who cannot be with you. It happens rarely but usually when we are lost. They may help us see better, & thankful we fall in love. Accept every person you meet as a blessing whether or not they can be with you, doesn’t mean there’s still not love there. The more you know yourself, the easier it will be to find your match in life. Its okay to love those who love you, even if they can’t be with you.
When in love always give it your all, because you never know how long it will last. Always be memorable and they will always come back to you. Be loving, caring, compassionate, and on top of it. In every relationship there’s a leader and a follower. To be a leader, be dependable, and always there for those you love. Love gives us strength when we need it, and all the stability we crave in life. Never take it for granted & you will always have love in your life.
We all want love. In order to be loved you must first love yourself. As challenging as it is, to love yourself, it will be well worth the wait. When you find someone who loves you as you are. The worst is falling in love before you have yet to love yourself. Feeling like you’re running out of time trying to catch up, never being able to enjoy the moment. The sooner you love yourself, the sooner you’ll be able to enjoy life to the fullest & the ones you’re with.