When Others Bring Out the Devil in You
by Leslie Fischman
Avoid temptation at all costs. This requires being able to differentiate need from necessity, and want from required to feel whole. What is it that causes you to behave in a way that you’re not proud of? Identify those triggers, and set boundaries for yourself and for those around you. Much about life requires communication, communication to express our needs and wants, professionally, socially, and romantically. It’s easy to get these things confused with one another during the process of communicating with one another. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, and professional associations and communications should all be dealt with differently to ensure no miscommunication of needs and wants. Work is not for friendship, and your lovers are not for venting and negativity. This leaves much of your communication needs for balance to your friends, who are the ones you should confide in, not work or romantic relationships. -So how does the devil come into play? The Devil is your ego, the one that causes you to lash out at others, fall in love with the wrong people, drink or use drugs, or behave inappropriately. If you are someone who is emotional, overt behavior is caused by expressing yourself beyond the bounds of what is considered normal. Knowing that, know your limits with people, do not connect closely with those you do not wish to have extended relationships with, do not connect with those where the type of relationship gets skewed or crosses over to another kind of relationship making it therefore an inappropriate relationship. You choose who you bond with, it’s not required you bond with anyone you are not comfortable bonding with. Trust is required for any bond, trust that boundaries will be maintained, and trust that the relationship existing is not considered to be anything more than what it is. So don’t let the Devil convince you otherwise that there’s sonething more than what is, fall in love with the wrong people, know your limits. It’s easier when in a relationship bonded to avoid these situations, more likely to occur when single unattached to be courted by others and people to seek bonds with you. Everything in life needs balance. It’s your responsibility to maintain balance of communication in all relationships, not allow one to affect the other. Trust your instincts, ignore negative voices (Devil), and most of all be yourself and everything should fall into place both personally and professionally. The best way to deal with any conflict is to not respond at all, not waste your time explaining yourself to people who assume the worst to cause you to self-sabatoge to prove them right about you, be yourself don’t let negative voices cause you to question yourself, become paranoid, or cause you to behave in a way that does not reflect you in the positive, but causes you to act out of character appear mentally ill. Just ignore them.
Take it easy on yourselves. You only have one life to live. At least you have your friends, family, co-workers, and gym buddies -where would we be without a little comradere in life. Getting fit is the first step toward self-love, to look good, feel good, and be on the outside as loveable as we feel on the inside. Sometimes our appearances don’t match how we feel, and that’s okay. So long as you continue to set goals for yourself, challenge yourself day in and day out to be the best version of yourself you can be, you’ll be well on your way to happiness, living a life enjoyed not loathed, enthusiastic not depressed, positive not moody, and feel loved not repressed in self-hate. Remind yourself this is your life, no one else’s, how you live is a direct reflection of yourself, how much you care, and your self-worth. Be who you want to be around, someone you love as much as your significant other. Always rising to the occassion, on time, present, and aware of others, not locked in your own world. Life is a process, trust those around you, and take it one step at a time without backtracking or hesitation. Never give up on yourself, and others, be there for those you love and well enough to enjoy lifes blessings, appreciative. Life’s best lived present.
How to Overcome Mental Illness:
You can wonder all your life, what could’ve been or you can start living your life right now. For a long time Ive struggled with mental illness, Ive even attempted suicide and been hospitalized on multiple occassions, on 5150 holds for harm to self (swallowed a bottle of kolonopin and cut my wrist). People come and go from your life it may have nothing to do with you. Let them go. There is so much left for you to live for in life, its not about what you have in life its about what you make of yourself with what you do have in your life. You shouldnt need people in your life in order to achieve, feel whole, or apart of. There are plenty of ways to integrate yourself in society on a professional level, other than socializing by going out drinking & doing drugs. Why social media is a great outlet for people trying to stay sober & not isolate, besides going to meetings with other alcoholics. You become who you surround yourself with. Online that can be anyone, there are so many professionals online to be exposed to, learn from, and grow with. Your friends will always be there for you when well, have faith that when you do find yourself professionally that either they or new friends will come into your life once you put yourself out there again, sharing your life & experiences, with careful thought not impulsive in the moment problem solving in the thick of it -is when you’re most likely to be misunderstood -others stand off ish. The most well adjusted become the most successful, why because their balanced demeanor translates to their work ethic and ability to produce and get their work done necessary to achieve professionally. -Stop living in the past -or worrying about what other people think of you. People only know what you tell them & from what you tell them judgment is past. Stop hearing judgments, and instead hear yourself. Stop listening to what other people think, and instead hear yourself. Write until all you hear is yourself. Write until all you hear is positive, and read until you become again who you are not what other people think or say, and let your work speak for itself.
He’s one of those guys you’d love to love. Better than a trophy, he’s got the whole package. When he looks at you, you melt, and when you walk away from him you feel torn. He makes you feel good, excites you, and leaves you in wonder. He doesn’t question you, he let’s you grow, and he sees your potential to do better in life. He’s controlling but loving, he sets boundaries but let’s you explore, and he never ignores you. He’s the kind of guy you admire introduce to parents & chase, a catch. He’s the kind of guy who loves to love but within reason, always focused on Career. He’s difficult, stubborn, and hard headed but genuine, sincere, and caring. Never too faced, always up front, explains well, a good listener. He’s someone you grow with, never get tired of, because he’s about others not himself. He always tries his hardest to be there for others, and too hard on himself. He values people not things and knows his limits. He’s a great leader and someone very special to me. Taught me how to be patient, change, love myself, & grow even after you give up on yourself, realize mental illness is not a permanent condition but a product of who I interact with, what I choose to believe, & what I hear. Since talking to him daily, my conditions improved, my mind has quieted, and I look forward to life now, not ashamed or helpless. I write, stay home, stay sober, work, & hope to finish school. He’s my voice of reason when I’m lost & sounding board when I’m flying, and keeps me grounded. He’s the perfect amount of normal, and accepts me the same even though he met me when I was troubled & lost. His friendship has made all the difference & I’m so thankful I met him. He’s more than my love, but my favorite hashtag #TaylorAdamsAM.
We all go through changes in life. That’s a normal part of growing up and becoming an adult. How you deal with change improves as you become more mature. The more comfortable you are in your own skin the better off you’ll be. Those who are easy to love are just that, comfortable with themselves. The easiest way to get through any change in life is to keep busy, keep moving forward, and surround yourself with people who love & care about you.
When in a relationship, a good rule of thumb is to always be sweet. You never know what the other person is thinking -and they could be going through something you know nothing about, and have yet to talk about. The world does not revolve around you and not everything is about you. Don’t take anything too personally & always be understanding & loving. Your support is what matters to your significant other, simply being there for them is enough sometimes. You don’t need to know about their past, their personal troubles, or what they’re thinking all the time. Part of being in love is learning to accept one another as they are, without trying to change them or manipulate them.
There will always be that one. Who takes your heart away. The one who wakes you up, and makes you love yourself. If you’re lucky enough to find them, never take them for granted. They have hearts too you know. Sometimes we are lucky when lost to find those who help us find ourselves again. They come into your life for a reason. -The hardest part is loving someone who cannot be with you. It happens rarely but usually when we are lost. They may help us see better, & thankful we fall in love. Accept every person you meet as a blessing whether or not they can be with you, doesn’t mean there’s still not love there. The more you know yourself, the easier it will be to find your match in life. Its okay to love those who love you, even if they can’t be with you.