No matter how hard you try you cannot control the past, or another’s interpretation of past events. The only thing you can control is your reaction to the past and the opinions shared by others. What will be will be. Meaning focus on the present, let the past be the past, and the future for you to decide. You can only control two things, your present and your future. Focus on those two things more than reflecting on past scenarios, best to prepare now for the future setting goals that reflect your understanding of the past, processed, and how you’ve been able to let go and move forward in a more positive direction. Don’t let anyone or anything hold you back from living your best life, including your past.
Nothing lasts forever, and everything is temporary. It’s all about perspective. Education is key to your understanding. Where you see yourself, in relation to others, is a direct reflection of yourself education & experience in life. You are what you read and learn. Confidence comes through exposure, the more you can relate to different settings, the more capable you’ll be of blending in and feeling comfortable with yourself. Comfort is achieved by knowledge, knowledge is achieved by a combination of education & experience. Therefore if you’re lacking confidence the best way to get strong is to travel, try new things, read, and explore different settings to help adjust your own. While adjusting your settings, you learn how to better control not only how you perceive yourself in relation to others, but also how to strengthen your sense of self in relation to others. Confidence issues and insecurity occur when you compare yourself to others. Love yourself enough to know that you are perfect just the way you are. Start there and everything else should fall into place.
Life is all about routine. Whether it’s practicing healthy habits, focusing on skincare, or going to the gym weekly, you get to decide what needs to get done to feel your best. What makes you feel complete? Do you have trouble sleeping at night? What do you need to do to get to where you want to be in life? What keeps you going and motivated? These are great questions to ask yourself whenever you feel, lonely, irritable, and lost. Means you’re not where you’re supposed to be in life and falling behind. Catching up is easy when you set goals, hard when you waste time looking back in regret. Get on point, by establishing a routine that helps you function best, it’s never too late to start over or build a new you. Don’t beat yourself, follow step by step guides, read Self-help books, get a trainer or life coach, join a gym, do whatever it takes to get going again. The worst thing you can do is to stop everything and mourn the loss of who you were, love yourself now and do what you can to repair yourself, don’t look back, keep moving forward, routine is everything! What you do now, will determine where you end up in life, always focus on the present, to lift yourself up to where you need to be to get going again.
Change never comes to those who wait. We cannot change by remaining who we are. Change comes to those who day in and day out do their best to improve their lives, change behavior, rid themselves of unhealthy habits, and stay motivated to be consistent, setting goals for themselves & sticking to plans. Change requires us to recognize our failures and do our best daily to be the best version of ourselves, by bettering ourselves everyday. Change comes to those who not only care about others but also themselves. Always see the glass half full, thinking in terms of what you do have, not what you have not.
When life gets difficult it is not uncommon for you to be forced to take on Multiple Roles which require you to maximize your potential without becoming burnt out. This requires that you maintain balance, practiced by adherence to common courtesies, etiquette, and abide by rules governing the organizations to which you apply your skill set, and your ability to meet performance goals. Nothing done well is done with haste always with careful planning and arduous practice of principles that dictate rights from wrongs and what is considered normal, common, acceptable behavior. No one ever said acceptance by all is required for achievement, but acceptance from within is, that can only be achieved by a strong belief in self, knowledge of values to be maintained, and purpose driven by goals appreciated by others not just for one’s own self. Living selflessly for the benefit of others is often required of us to achieve goals in life, the helping professions requires you put the needs of others before your own, and practice self care to ensure that you are able to perform to the best of your ability, and avoid burn out. When burnout occurs it is always okay to take a break and refrain from participation, regroup or start a different project to rebuild momentum and prepare yourself for tasks of higher importance, be efficient by practicing & fine tuning your skillset.
When you experience any type of loss in life, its devastating. I’ve lost every Man I’ve loved to other Women or ideas of perfection & beauty, undervalued not appreciated, treated as not good enough. That type of loss, is a loss of self, self esteem, and confidence. There’s a difference between between that kind of loss, superficial and the loss of a person or life of a loved one. Do not confuse the two, there’s a big difference. No matter how much loss I’ve endured in life, I’ve been taught to always see the positive & be appreciative of what I do have in life. People cannot be replaced, clothes, boyfriends and anything else superficial can be replaced, no loss so grave as worthy of causing a loss of self, or esteem so grave ad to cause loss of confidence resulting in hardship & failure deemed permanent. If it could lift you up, you can lift yourself up, if it supported you, you can support yourself, if it gave you shelter from negativity, you can shelter yourself from negativity. No loss should result in loss of control of self. You are always able to rebuild yourself if you try, focus on people not things, and value one another’s worth, not devalue one another for superficial means that you should already be able to provide for yourself.
You can try to plan all you want for the future but sometimes things do not always turn out as we had planned. When things don’t turn out the way you expect them to, either because your judgment is off or the judgments held towards you are, something better will always come along. Everything happens for a reason, things can only get worse for so long until they become better, have faith in that process. In order to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person, you must realize what it is that you can be doing better, what it is that you do well, and what it is that is keeping you from achieving your goals in life. No one can change for you when you experience failure, that is something you must figure out on your own. Know your strengths when weak and focus on what you have when you feel lost, and you will always find your place in life. You are only off center for as along as you allow negativity & failure to keep you from moving forward, when you are most centered occurs when mindful of your needs as well as the needs of others, and everyone around you achieving, including yourself. This is not always the case, but when it occurs, appreciate those moments in life and never take them for granted. You should not only do as well as those around you, you should always be able to achieve in life with or without the comradere of success, you are not required to lead when up or teach once accomplished, but you are always required to be humble once you get there. In order to help others you must first help yourself. Success comes to those who are patient & disciplined. Just because one plan doesn’t work for success does not mean everything is a failure, learn to roll with the punches, sit with what you’ve got, and learn from your mistakes -building from within what is lost until everything you think and feel comes to fruition in life for you, nothing achieved comes by surprise but by careful planning, steady progress, and a willingness to adapt to changes along the way which determines your success. You are defined not by failures, but by what you achieve in spite of failure, which way you go when you hit a hurdle in life demonstrates your strength of character, whether you go up or down in life when met with hardship.