Change never comes to those who wait. We cannot change by remaining who we are. Change comes to those who day in and day out do their best to improve their lives, change behavior, rid themselves of unhealthy habits, and stay motivated to be consistent, setting goals for themselves & sticking to plans. Change requires us to recognize our failures and do our best daily to be the best version of ourselves, by bettering ourselves everyday. Change comes to those who not only care about others but also themselves. Always see the glass half full, thinking in terms of what you do have, not what you have not.
When you’re on your own, and not socializing, you hear a lot of voices, sometimes negative, either about yourself or others, it can drive you insane. Any negativity, unless you’ve got the stomach for it is annoying, at least when you’re depressed and trying to stay positive about yourself and others. In order to have a positive attitude you need to achieve, and in order to stay positive you need not worry what others think, think your own thoughts not theirs. That doesn’t mean only worry about yourself, not others, in fact putting the needs of others before your own is helpful when you’re going through a difficult time, to concentrate less on yourself & your problems & be more in active productive, helping others is simply one way of being productive that translates to feeling better about yourself and others, less worried about what others think about you or in general. Always concentrate on your own thoughts, if negative from where do those voices come from and why, to what issues trigger those replies you hear in your head, if negative ask yourself why & deal with those feelings piecemeal, one at a time until you find a strategy for overcoming that feeling & the corresponding emotion or voices that follow. Always be in control of your mind, know your body, how it responds, and what you need to do self care wise to maintain stability so that negativity does not overpower you cause you to self harm. Love you first, loving yourself means staying proactive & disciplined when it comes to self care, the less you care about yourself the less others will care about you. Always rise above, in your head not others, on your path not question another’s, live your dream not another’s, think your thoughts not what others think, and most of all care always for others and yourself, the more accepting you are of others the easier it will be to challenge, overcome, & not be easily affected by any voices including ones produced on your own.
When you’re off on your own, it’s easy to get discouraged, and lose faith. Always keep yourself busy. We lose faith in ourselves and others usually when we are not confident, not disciplined, needy, and feeling less than or not good enough. Part of finding confidence and stability requires you to be okay on your own and fearless. Afterall it’s easier to be around someone who is stable rather than someone who is tripping. Usually unstable people are viewed as being problematic or risky, and quickly disassociated from, that’s normal, that’s business. People who are caretakers tend to be more empathic & understanding, not concerned with image and risk, more concerned with helping others, strengthening those around them. So when you’re down be understanding that not everyone is going to be willing to help you, and that’s okay, some people are not going to be there for you and that’s okay too. Don’t take anything in life too personally, just always do your best to be thankful & grateful for those that do help you get back to normal.
Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not worth it in life. Your value should not be based on love & acceptance from others but by what you accomplish professionally. At the end of the day all you have is yourself & your career. The only people who should matter in the event of a social or romantic catastrophe should be your employers, after all they hired you & believed in you, so don’t let them down. Remember always family comes first. Whether you agree with them or not you should always accept them, their shared opinions of you, and always do your best everyday to be the best version of yourself. In adulthood there is no room for error, & you must live with the consequences of the mistakes you make in life and/or poor decision making. There is always room for improvement, no matter how difficult life can get, your first step forward always begins with acceptance, acceptance of self and others is always required to clear your mind, move forward, & not allow the past to hinder your future successes in life. One step at a time.
How to Deal with Anger & Resentment:
The best way to deal with anger & Resentment is to do something positive for yourself. Whenever you feel angry towards others -it’s really a manifestation of some unhappiness within you -that gets triggered by another to whom you take that anger out on. The best way to deal with anger or resentments we carry towards others is to better oneself and NOT to act out or respond to others in a negative way -that only makes things worse. To better any situation or standing in life always rise above -meaning do not engage with others who are hostile towards you or who you do not get along with & resent because of the way they have treated you in the past i.e. with hostility, insult, by injury, or anger towards you. Always set a good example of how to deal with conflict by being successful with or without them in your life. The only way to earn the respect of others who do not respect you is to be successful and continue achieving in life. That would be my best response -and how I’ve best responded to those I once carried resentments towards, who expressed anger towards me, & who I did not get along with when I was not doing well & didn’t finish Law School.
Nothing comes easy in life, including finding a Career and sticking to the path that you’re on. If it takes 3 jobs to make a paycheck, it takes 3 jobs. If it means no going out, staying home, and writing for a living, so be it. Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes to make ends meet. You may not be happy where you are but all your hard work will pay off eventually. Don’t listen to the negative voices saying “well they’re paying for it now.” For what? The only consequence of choosing to stay in School and Intern is that you get started later in life. That doesn’t mean you’re not working just as hard as the next person trying to earn a living and make ends meet. There’s no one to prove wrong under those circumstances, only person you need to please is yourself on your way up in life, no one else can tell you how to get there or what you need to do in order to achieve, that’s something we must each figure out on our own.
Life doesn’t always turn out the way we had planned. Nothing is set in stone, and not everything may work out in our favor. There’s nothing wrong with failure. Remind yourself everyday that you are special, and that you deserve the best -and that no matter what, no matter who’s given up on you, that you will never give up on yourself. Don’t allow your life story to become someone else’s entertainment and comedy. Everyone’s life is important & everyone has the opportunity to contribute to a cause worth while of greater importance than themselves. That is why we Volunteer. That is why we help others. It is not our success we value but the success of our group as a whole that we choose to support along the way. So long as you stay active, and Volunteer your self worth should never be measured by the amount of money you make but by the number of people you help and by the amount of change that transpires and the amount of money you help raise to support the organizations you choose to associate with. That’s how I’ve given value to my life when unemployed & I hope that others similarly situated will find time to help someone other than themselves when struggling to earn a paycheck & find work. Love comes and goes. All we have are ourselves at the end of the day. Make the most of your life as I have, and you too will find joy in living life with purpose -a purpose greater than yourself. From there your options are limitless.