I never stopped to question who I was and what I wanted to do in life until my late 20’s. This phase usually occurs after experiencing some kind of failure in life. For me it was not finishing Law School. It was my dream to be an Attorney, so when that dream could no longer happen I came to a crossroads in life. I could either keep pursuing my dream to get married or forfeit my 2 and a half year relationship to someone I loved but was not growing with, that is why I decided to leave him. (My Mom mentioned not to list names, why names are now loosely referenced to if not at all now).
Why do we question ourselves and our motivations in life? When one is motivated by goals that bring about positive changes or positive growth in one’s life then we know that we are on the right track, our decision making is sound, and that we are being accurately guided by our positive goals we have set for ourselves. Some call that your Chi. Finding your so-called Chi in life is difficult, not always necessary for one to be in their “Chi” in order to succeed in life and/or function, but definitely something we all strive to achieve for ourselves and once found, maintain.
So when lost, or experiencing failure, of course we look back and wonder, think, when was the last time we were in our Chi? For me my Chi is operating on all cyclinders, multi-tasking, accomplishing daily tasks with ease, and one goal after the other, with patience hardwork gratitude sincerity wit, healthy, strong, fit, well balanced mentally & physically, strong interpersonal skills, in touch with friends & family on a periodic to regular basis, writing, and most of all reading. I seem to do my best when I am reading a lot, I guess that’s why I love school so much I stayed in school. -Huh? I have a learning disability so I don’t read unless for School mostly and therefore only read what’s been assigned to me.
So why am I writing online? Are you soul searching Leslie or looking for your Chi? No. I know where my Chi is at and my Soul. Exists with whomever I’m in love with. I’m a pretty dedicated girlfriend, unconditional, patient, loving, and never complain. –I used to be great on my own, taking care of myself, until I became Codependent in my last relationship (2010-2012). I was ignored too much, and he didn’t have as much time for me as I expected from someone looking for a serious relationship, I think we would have been better off as friends as suggested for the long term but he insisted, I cried on my steps after our second date -telling him I’m not good at relationships and not ready for a serious relationship, having just left my Ex 8 Months or so ago for an Attorney who wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, leaving me alone in the date to date pool of people who wanna hook up but not ready for a committment -I go in my head so then what’s the point of hooking up if not for Marriage. Anyways I’ve grown since then and decide to just stay Celibate until I find those who do not have fear of committment and can handle me when I say I’m waiting for Marriage and still want to date me. Shows they have gusto, fearless of expectations, enjoy the moment type of people, I think I’ve found that finally, happy, blessed with my current Companion & Boyfriend.
And what about your Career? I’m back at my Dream Job, drafting Motions on a part-time basis and Volunteering for Mom’s Demand to help put an end to Gun Violence, related to my work I’ve completed online so far for #BloggingCampaign for #BradyCampaign -this is just the beginning of a life long committment I’ve dedicated my life to so far since 2013, something I’m very passionate about and causes that really hit close to home, how I’ve been affected.